Deep Roots Of Resentment

I grew up with an old family saying: " Expectation is premeditated resentment". The idea behind this is that when you create expectations, you are planning on resenting that person because they will never live up to your expectation. This saying came from my mothers side, who just happen to leave me at age 3. Naturally its about time to challenge that.

As I sit here thinking about people i have resented over the years, I find that in most cases it is true. There are the rare occasions where this saying does not hold. When you purchase a meal, you are entitled to good service. When you enter a marriage you are entitled to fidelity. When you are wronged, you are entitled to justice. You may choose forgiveness in the later but you get the idea.

Is it wrong to expect these things? I don't think we are planning to resent someone when we walk in the restaurant and end up with horrible service. Eventually tho, our expectation do lead to resentment. Resent has only 2 outcomes, forgiveness or distance. Too many times my solution has been distance because the path of forgiveness is a road difficult to travel.

These days, it seems, I am finding the hard beaten highway of forgiveness to be the more lucrative route. It is the path of least resistance, but it comes at a price. The price is self loathing and resentment of expectations placed upon yourself. I guess mother's words hold true for now. Expectations are premeditated resentment, but she never told me the person I would end up resenting was myself.